Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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