i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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