There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
