I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
