are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
