I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
