phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Sober January is a disaster.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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