I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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