I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
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