That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize