im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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