Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
