I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
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I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
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No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.