Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
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The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
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At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter