Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
