she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize