I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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