It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
