Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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