Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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