Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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