I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
