bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
