I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
