She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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