he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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