Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
