Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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