is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
high people should be assigned attendants
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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