look no pants
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
her facebook's as public as her vagina
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
