i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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