come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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