why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This baby is an asshole
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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