Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
this just has baby written all over it
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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