it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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