Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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