like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
