Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
