butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
