Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
