$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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