Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He better not be in your backpack
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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