it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
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I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
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nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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