I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
