can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
