The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
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I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
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Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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