Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
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