That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
