About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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