Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
