Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
