oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize