oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
