we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
