"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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