dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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